


Dreaming

by leen_go (cagedchaos)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Amnesia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-09
Updated: 2013-12-09
Packaged: 2018-10-25 10:03:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10761993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cagedchaos/pseuds/leen_go
Summary: Four years is a lot to lose.





	1. Chapter 1

_“Yes. A million times, yes,” the brunet replies, grin widening even further when he notices the blond down on one knee in front of him let out a breath of relief at the affirmative response. He tries not to let the excitement get to him, watching with barely contained glee as the blond pulls the silver ring from its housing and slips it perfectly around his finger. He barely notices the cheers and applause from around the establishment as he finally pulls his now-fiancé to his feet and wraps his arms around the other, pressing their warm lips together, a laugh bubbling up between his teeth at the idea of_ forever _with this perfect human._

  
…  
  
A twenty-six year old Chinese male awoke to a quiet but rhythmic beeping coming from behind his head. His bed didn’t feel quite right but his eyelids were feeling too much like lead for him to open them to find out what it was that was wrong. His head felt like it was going to  explode and the first thing that came to mind was how much trouble he was going to be in when his manager found out that he had spent the night before an important performance getting so hammered that he couldn’t remember the previous night at all.  
  
The beeping from behind him persisted at a higher rate and he instinctively reached out his hand to search his bedside table for the phone to turn off the alarm, only instead of locating the source of the beeping, he found that his hand had barely moved an inch from his side. _I am never going to have whatever drink it was I had last night,_ he mused to himself, though for the life of him, he could not remember what his poison had been.  
  
“Yixing?” a soft voice called from somewhere on his left, interrupting his thoughts. “Zhang Yixing?” the familiar voice repeated, this time accompanied with a hand to his shoulder.  
  
 _Right. Zhang Yixing. That would be me. I should probably acknowledge whoever is calling me._ He opened his mouth, intending to mumble a ‘yeah?’ but only a barely audible groan slipped out instead. When he swallowed to try again, he found his throat burned more than if he had just downed an entire mickey of cheap vodka. _What the hell happened last night?!_  
  
“Don’t move okay, Xing? I’ll go get the doctor,” the voice continued and he listened as footsteps travelled away from him and a door creaked open. He wanted to ask ‘what doctor?’ but sleep was beckoning him once again and he obliged willingly.  
  
…  
  
Beeping. Flashes. Mumbling. Vertigo. Pricking. Whirring.  
  
Shuffling. Blurring. Light. Sliding. Buzzing. Arguing.  
  
Numbness.  
  
…  
  
When Yixing opened his eyes, he found himself in a dimly lit room. The curtains were drawn across the window and the railings on either side of his bed were adorned with various colourful buttons. _Hospital_ was the word that came to his mind as his eyes scanned the room and landed on a figure sitting in a tall-backed chair. ‘Sitting’ was probably not the best word to describe Kim Minseok’s position on the chair and a small smile made its way onto Yixing’s lips as he wondering how long it would take his stylist to slide off his seat. The older seemed to notice he was being watched and his eyes flew open as he fumbled and pulled himself back up into a more upright position with a crooked smile when he noticed Yixing. “Hey. You’re awake.”  
  
Yixing wanted to shrug but his shoulders didn’t listen so he opted instead to return a snarky remark, only to realise that his mouth was too parched to form words. All he could do was watch in silence as Minseok stood up and walked quickly to his side, offering him a straw, “Have some water, it’ll help.”  
  
Yixing sipped slowly, learning immediately that anything faster than a slow stream would make him cough.  
  
“Better?” Minseok asked, putting the cup down on the table beside the bed.  
  
 _Compared to what?_ Yixing wanted to ask but another question begged his attention. “What happened?” he asked instead with difficulty in a raspy voice, trying hard to ignore the needle sticking out of his arm. “Where’s Lu Han?”  
  
“He just stepped out to take a call. He’ll be back in a minute,” Minseok answered and Yixing didn’t miss the way that the stylist had avoided answering the first question.  
  
A creaking drew the couple’s attention to the door; Lu Han was back from whatever phone call it was that had taken him out of the room in the first place. Yixing watched with an arched eyebrow as Minseok pulled away from the side of Yixing’s bed to step towards the redheaded newcomer, reaching his hand out to take Lu Han’s and kissing him lightly on the cheek before whispering something in his ear briefly. _That was… odd…_  
  
Luhan looked up quickly as soon as Minseok was done whispering and let go of the latter’s hand to walk up quickly to the side of the bed. Yixing watched as a myriad of emotions swam in his manager’s eyes as he looked down at Yixing. “Hey, sleepyhead. How’re you feeling?”  
  
“Like I got run over by a truck,” Yixing joked, but Lu Han didn’t seem to enjoy the comment, so he tried again. “What happened?”  
  
Yixing felt Lu Han’s signature cool fingers reach for his hand, “What… do you think happened?”  
  
The brunette lying in bed didn’t like the concerned look the redhead was giving him. _Just give me a straight answer, Lu Han._ “I don’t know? That’s why I’m asking? One minute I’m in the studio working on a song while waiting for rehearsal and the next, I’m waking up in a hospital bed to you and Minseok kissing.”  
  
The look on Lu Han’s face grew darker and Yixing wanted to hit him for being so cryptic. “What song were you working on?” the older asked, concern creasing into his forehead.  
  
Yixing rolled his eyes, “The title track of the new album, Lu Han.” _Maybe Lu Han should be the one in the hospital bed._  
  
“ _Which one_?” Lu Han repeated, with more emphasis as he pulled up a chair next to the bed.  
  
Yixing scowled visibly, “Black Pearl, Lu Han! What else would I be working on? I’ve been fiddling with that song for weeks! You know that. Now can you stop asking me stupid questions and tell me why I’m here?”  
  
Lu Han took a deep breath, reaching out for Minseok’s hand before he looked straight at Yixing, “Lay already released that song. Four years ago,” he said monotonously before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone.  
  
Yixing laughed for a moment before he realised that Lu Han might not be joking, “What are you talking about, Lu Han?” he asked, voice shaking because something about the concentrated way that Lu Han was fiddling on his phone was bothering him. “Lu Han?” he prompted again when the redhead made no move to reply.  
  
“Just listen,” Lu Han said before holding his phone next to Yixing’s ear and a familiar song started to play, only… “What the hell is this, Lu Han? Did you give away my song?!” Lu Han didn’t reply, just continued to hold the device playing the song and Yixing knew there was no way Lu Han had sold his song because that was _his_ voice on the track, except some of the chords and lyrics had changed from what he’d been working on last night. Had Lu Han gotten a program to duplicate his voice?  
  
When the song was over, Lu Han pulled the phone back to himself and tapped the screen a couple of times before holding it sideways in front of Yixing who watched a miniature version of himself dance to the same track he’d just listened to with flawless choreography. Three minutes later, the track faded out and another took its place, playing a heavily auto-tuned song he’d never heard himself sing before, again accompanied with a music video that showcased his own flowing dance routine.  
  
Yixing didn’t need to watch to the end of the video to understand what Lu Han was trying to tell him. It didn’t exactly take a genius to connect the dots between his waking up in a hospital bed with his movements limited, the music videos he didn’t remember filming and the only explanation Lu Han had bothered to provide since coming into the room: _“Lay already released that song four years ago.”_  
  
But it did take another three songs for Yixing to actually start to believe it. He didn’t say anything when Lu Han finally took away the phone and put it on the table, clearly waiting for Yixing to break the silence first. Yixing hardly even noticed when Minseok had stepped back to settle in the chair he’d fallen asleep in earlier.  
  
“So… what hap-?” Yixing started, hardly able to finish asking his question before he felt something lodge itself uncomfortably in his throat.  
  
“Car accident,” Lu Han answered simply, waiting for Yixing to continue the conversation.  
  
 “How long?”  
  
“You’ve been out for just under five months now.”  
  
Yixing swallowed hard and squeezed his eyes shut tightly in an effort to hold back the dam that threatened to collapse; tears would solve nothing right now, “Five months,” he whispered. “And the media is saying…?”  
  
Yixing watched as Lu Han swallowed hesitantly, “They initially said you were driving under the influence, but don’t worry, you weren’t. The paparazzi shut up pretty fast when they learned it wasn’t entirely your fault.”  
  
“ _’Wasn’t entirely my fault?’_ So it was _partly_ my fault?”  
  
“There was a red light and-”  
  
Lu Han never managed to finish because the door to his room swung open again and a tall male with light hair rushed in, pulling Lu Han aside so that he could take his spot beside the bed. “Hey, how’re you doing?”  
  
“Huang Zitao? What’re you…?” Yixing managed to get out before he almost suffocated from the bear hug.  
  
“I was _so_ worried! Do you know what you’ve put me through these past few months?!”  
  
For a lack of knowing what to do, Yixing naturally turned his gaze to Lu Han who seemed to be wearing an expression of irritation mixed with concern and anxiety, and twice the oldest male in the room had to keep Lu Han from trying to pull Huang Zitao away from Yixing, who was suddenly grateful that at least there seemed to be two people in this room who were trying to keep Yixing from dying from asphyxiation.  
  
“Don’t you think you should let Yixing rest for a bit?” Lu Han finally voiced, “He’s had a hard morning, Huang Zitao.”  
  
Tao turned and shot Lu Han a dark look, “I’m not leaving Yixing-ge’s side. I’m not bothering him,” he explained, turning back to Yixing with barely contained excitement in his eyes, “Am I?”  
  
Bothering him? There were a lot of things bothering Yixing at the moment and he wasn’t sure if Tao’s excited greeting qualified as one of them; he and the singer-rapper had been in a public relationship for over a year ( _Or, I guess, four years now,_ Yixing thought ruefully) and while it had started only as a mutually beneficially business arrangement, perhaps in the last four years, it had developed into something real. The more he surrounded himself with people who knew what had happened in his lost four years, the better.  “No, it’s okay, you can stay. Just… you know… don’t hug so tight. It hurts.”  
  
Yixing grinned at the victorious look that Tao shot Lu Han as the taller took a seat at the end of the bed, reaching under the covers and intertwining his fingers with Yixing with a small comforting smile.  
  
…

Kris had his seatbelt unbuckled before the cab had come to a full stop in front of the hospital doors. He handed a couple of bills to the driver and didn’t bother waiting for change before he clambered out of the back seat, slamming the door before he ran through the automatic doors. He hit the ‘up’ button for the elevator repeated and when it didn’t open the doors immediately, he slipped into the stairwell, taking the steps three at a time to the second floor, nearly tripping at least half a dozen times in his haste.

Though there was an excited smile pulling onto his face, he couldn’t help feeling apprehensive; doctors had been wrong before. He slowed down as he neared the door to Yixing’s room, taking a couple breaths to steady his pulse before reaching his hand out to open the door.

The smile dropped instantly when he glanced towards the bed to find a frail-looking Yixing looking back at him with a confused look, seated next to _him_. He started to open his mouth to tell off the smug looking male that dared to sit next to his fiance, but he was stopped when a hand pulled at his elbow from the side. He tore the glare he shot at him away to turn and look down at his left where Lu Han was looking at him strangely.

“Can I have a minute with you outside?” the manager prompted and Kris narrowed his eyes; what was possibly so important that Lu Han had to see him _now_?

“Uh, can’t it wait?” The taller grumbled in annoyance, eyes flickering back at the two celebrities who were sitting _much_ too close.

“Please?” Lu Han tried again, fingernails digging into Kris’ elbow in urgency and voice dropping so low that Kris was probably the only one to hear the desperation in it.

“This better be quick,” he bit through his teeth as he pulled his arm back to himself, turning around to go out the door again. “What the hell is so important that you had to talk to me _now_ , when Yixing is finally awake after all this time?!”

Lu Han shook his head as he held a finger to his lips to remind the other to keep his voice down in the hospital. “Yixing can’t remember,” he said as he closed the door behind him and looked around to make sure they weren’t disrupting anyone.

Kris crinkled his brow at his co-worker, “Can’t remember what?” he asked, arms crossing on his chest in growing agitation.

Lu Han took a long breath and searched for the nearest bench to sit down on, “The last thing he remembers is the day before the concert at the game four years ago.”

Kris swallowed hard at the information, “What?”

Lu Han remained silent as he offered a simple encouraging half-smile.

Kris started to pace along the length of the bench Lu Han sat on, unaware of the fact that he was starting to ramble his thoughts, “Okay, well, that’s fine, we can work on that, right? I mean, we still have time, we can help him remember right?”

Lu Han swallowed as he finally pulled himself up to his feet again, “Actually, Tao’s here,” he said flatly.

Kris stopped pacing and turned to face Lu Han with an incredulous look on his face, “So? I can see that. What’s that brat got to do with anything? And why is he here anyway?”

Lu Han chewed on his lip momentarily before answering, “He came here ten minutes before you did, and he…” he paused to choose the appropriate words and received a dangerous look from Kris to continue, “He kind of convinced Xing that they’ve been together in the last few years.” Lu Han flinched a little, as if expecting Kris to hit him for being the bearer of bad news but the tall blond only raised an eyebrow.

“So? I’ll just have to go in there and clear things up, right?” he said simply as he started back towards the door.

“Kris, _wait_ ,” Lu Han called after him, “The thing is, Yixing still in a pretty unstable condition, and I really don’t want any surprises that might shock him.”

Kris’ jaw clenched, “Are you saying that since I was late because my phone died at work today, that because of that tiny little detail, I’m getting beat by _Tao_ of all people?” He swallowed hard before looking Lu Han hard in the eyes, “I refuse to believe that Yixing can have forgotten all about us.” He turned and started to the door again.

“ _Please_ ,” Lu Han pleaded as a last resort, “I’m only trying to look out for Yixing, Kris. He’s having a hard enough time trying to come to terms with all this as it is, I don’t want anything else to complicate things further.”

Kris didn’t turn around to look at Lu Han again, pausing at the door and swallowing hard at Lu Han’s words. The older had always been better at managing things like this but Kris was still having a hard time believing him. He stared at the handle for a moment as he contemplated his options before pushing the door open with determination.

…  
  
Yixing stared at window on the hospital room door, eyes narrowing to try to make out which of the two shadows belonged to Lu Han and which belonged to the familiar looking guest. It was a couple of minutes before Yixing got impatient and glanced beside him at Zitao with a raised eyebrow. He contemplated asking the younger to check on the situation, but before he could even open his mouth, the door swung open again.  
  
The familiar blond stepped into the room with a grim look on his face, stopping a couple feet away from the end of the bed when Lu Han grabbed his wrist. The two exchanged looks for a moment before Yixing’s manager finally let go with a sigh and headed to the couch to take a seat next to Minseok.  
  
“Do you… recognize me?”  
  
Yixing’s focus turned back towards his unknown visitor, and he squinted as if it would help him. A second glance reminded him of a picture from the collection of basketball players he had been studying last night in preparation for his performance at the NBA All Star Weekend.  
  
 _Li Jia Heng?_ _But… isn’t he a brunette?_  
  
A glance over at Zitao reminded him that it hadn’t been last night since he reviewed those profiles and it was highly possible that the brown haired basketball player had decided to change his hair colour. Yixing turned to try to get his manager’s attention, but Lu Han seemed to be more interested in grimacing as he looked cautiously between Yixing, Zitao, and the tall male that _just couldn’t be Li Jia Heng._ Noticing the expectant look on the tall male, Yixing let out a sigh and decided that he didn’t have much to lose if he just guessed. “Li Jia… Heng?” he tried carefully before continuing, hoping his voice would fill the awkward silence in the room. “The basketball guy, right?”  
  
The flinch that flashed quickly across the photogenic face was hardly noticeable but Yixing suddenly felt guilty for losing his memory. “I… I’m sorry. We probably met before, didn’t we? You’ll have to forgive me, I-”  
  
“It’s okay, Yixing,” Lu Han finally speaks up, “I already explained to Kris what’s happened.”  
  
Yixing looked over at his manager with a confused expression, “Kris? Who’s Kris?”  
  
Lu Han only stood up and took a step forward to place a hand on the tall male’s shoulder. “ _This_ is Kris. He’s been your personal trainer from the company for over a year now.”  
  
Yixing’s jaw hardened at the dejected look on Kris’ face and a sick feeling settled in his stomach as he realised that this was only going to be the first of many awkward encounters; he suddenly wished he’d never woken up. His face started to burn up and he lowered his focus to his hand where he noticed his knuckles had gone ghostly-pale from gripping Zitao’s hand so tightly. He immediately muttered an apology and let go before turning his head away with embarrassment.  
  
From the corner of his eye, he caught ‘Kris’ standing stiffly with his hands balled into fists at his side. “I… I’ve got an appointment I’m late for.” It was hardly a whisper but Yixing felt the words echo in the hollow room. He clenched his jaw and held his focus on the white linens of his bed, determined not to make eye contact with anyone in the unbearably silent room.  
  
“Goodbye, Kris.”  
  
Zitao’s voice cut through the room like a knife, forcing Yixing to look up to see the speaker send a hateful look at the blond that Kris returned with just as much distaste if not more; what exactly was Yixing missing here?  
  
Lu Han turned to follow Kris, but hesitated, looking back at Yixing with worry creasing his forehead. Minseok let out a sigh, got to his feet and wrapped an arm around Lu Han’s waist, “It’s okay, you stay. I’ll go after him,” he whispered quietly before giving Lu Han a quick kiss on the lips. Another discomforting wave of guilt hit him as he tried to recall when his choreographer had finally graduated from crushing hard on Lu Han to actually going out with him.  
  
“Can… can I get a couple minutes to myself?” Yixing asked with a shakey voice, using almost all his concentration on holding back the anger and disappointment he felt at himself, “I just… it’s a lot to handle right now…”  
  
Lu Han was at the side of the bed in a second, grabbing Zitao around the elbow and pulling him to his feet, “Of course, Yixing. Take all the time you need, okay? I’ll leave my phone here and if you need me, just call Minseok, okay? He’s speed dial one.”  
  
Yixing nodded and took the phone Lu Han held out with a short sniffle, giving a worried Zitao a reassuring look, “I’ll be fine. I’ll see you guys in a bit, okay?” The famous singer lasted until his door closed with a click before he pulled the blanket over his head with a whimper. Why did he have to go and wake up? It would have been easier for everyone if he’d stayed in his stupid coma.  
  
…

Kris closed the hospital room door behind him carefully and knocked the back of his head against it quietly, closing his eyes as he tried to calm himself. He tried to erase the sick image of Tao holding hands with _his_ fiancé but his ears were filled with the cocky victorious look on the young celebrity’s smug face as he dismissed Kris from the room. His teeth ground together painfully as he took a seat on the bench Lu Han had vacated minutes earlier, elbows on his knees and fingers on one hand run up and down his forehead as he tried to calm his nerves. He wondered if he had done the right thing in backing down from Tao, but the way Yixing seemed to look up at the younger for reassurance made Kris think that if it meant that Yixing could have some peace of mind, at least for now, he shouldn’t disrupt the peace. His free hand reached to his neck and wrapped around the silver ring that hung there, wondering when he’d be able to return the necklace to its rightful owner.

“Just give it some time. He’ll come back to you.”

Kris looked up when a comforting hand found a place on his shoulder, its owner sitting down beside him with an encouraging smile that Kris returned uneasily. “Thanks,” he replied simply, though his own confidence was slipping slowly despite Minseok’s attempted reassuring words.

…  
  
Yixing woke up to quiet tapping of a laptop keyboard. “Always so hardworking, huh? At least _that_ hasn’t changed in the past couple of years,” he muttered when he noticed Lu Han sitting on the couch with his computer.  
  
Lu Han looked up at the sound of Yixing’s voice, closing the laptop and placing it on the table beside him before getting up to walk to Yixing, “Feeling better today?”  
  
Yixing shrugged, “Could be better, but I guess I’m okay,” he paused for a moment before continuing, turning away sheepishly, “Uhm… sorry… about freaking out yesterday…”  
  
Lu Han reached for Yixing’s hand with a gentle smile, “Don’t be stupid.”  
  
Despite the comforting tone of Lu Han’s voice, Yixing still felt uneasy, recalling how entirely  awkward things had been yesterday when encountering too many faces all at once. “Uhm,” he started again, “Can I ask you a question, Lu Han?” A quick squeeze of his hand from Lu Han prompted him to continue, “You… if there was anything to tell me, you would tell me, right?”  
  
Yixing finally looked up to see a started look on Lu Han’s face, mouth hung open slightly before his expression softened, “Zhang Yixing,” the older started in a stern voice before breaking into a smile, “If case you’ve forgotten,” he began, jokingly, “Besides only being your manager, I am also your best friend. I only want what’s best for you.”  
  
Yixing hesitated before continuing, despite feeling slightly reassured by Lu Han’s words. “Uhm… when did… me and… Tao…? I mean, the last I recalled, he and I were only together for show, to promote that collaborative concert tour around Asia we held…?”  
  
Suspiciously, Lu Han swallowed hard and seemed to breathe out a sigh of relief when a knock sounded at the door and a nurse entered with lunch. “You should eat, build up your strength again,” he said, and Yixing couldn’t help but wonder if that wasn’t just an excuse to not answer the question. He contemplated posing the question again, but decided against it; he had always trusted his best friend, and if Lu Han _was_ hiding something, there was definitely a good reason for it, he just had to be patient. He looked down at the pale meal placed before him and picked up his fork with a heavy sigh.  
  
…  
  
Monday morning brought along with it a new visitor who called himself Kim Jongdae, one of the hospital’s physical therapists. He asked Yixing a serious of questions patiently as he guided Yixing through a couple of simply physical activities such as wiggling his toes to judge the amount of work needed to bring Yixing back to “normal.”  
  
For the entire half hour, Yixing felt embarrassed at how much effort it took to rotate his ankles or to bend his knees upwards, though Jongdae didn’t seem bothered at all, writing down notes on his clipboard with his gloved hands. The only thing that he could be thankful for was that Lu Han had politely stepped outside for the exam.  
  
“So?” Yixing asked apprehensively when Jongdae told him he could relax.  
  
Jongdae flashed him an encouraging smile as he finished his notes and capped his pen, slipping it back into his shirt pocket, “Better than I thought, actually.”  
  
Yixing blinked blankly at the therapist, unsure of how to react to the simple statement, “Uhm, so… how long do you think…?” he managed to get out incompletely.  
  
“I’ll have to get back to my office to sort out a plan for us, but we’ll have you up and dancing on stage again in no time. I’ll swing back around either later tonight or tomorrow, so just rest for now, okay?” Jongdae flipped the sheets on his board a last time before he tucked it under his arm, “Before I leave, is there anything you want to ask me?”  
  
Yixing shoke his head, an anxious feeling creeping up his chest as he watched the therapist leave, pausing to toss his gloves into the garbage can by the door. Yixing got about five minutes of quiet to himself before his room door opened again, letting in a smiling Kris that made Yixing tense up again.  
  
“I just talked to Jongdae. Seems like you’ll be out of here in no time!” Kris greeted enthusiastically before he noticed Yixing shifting slightly in his bed.  
  
“You know… my physical therapist?” Yixing asked quietly.  
  
Kris raised an arm to scratch the back of his head nervously. “Uhm, yeah. Actually, it was me who requested that he come see you about rehab.”  
  
Yixing’s eyebrows folded together in annoyance, “Why’d you do that for? Did I ask you to do that?” He could feel his voice rising and he didn’t know why but he was getting annoyed with this stranger he’d known for approximately five minutes. So what if this Kris guy had been his personal trainer the past year? Yixing hardly knew who this man was and he certainly didn’t feel comfortable with him referring therapists to him. Why was he being so chipper first thing in the morning anyway? And didn’t this guy have a job? What was he doing here in the first place? “I never asked for your help, so can you please just leave me alone?” he finished with an exasperated sigh.  
  
The hurt expression on the taller’s face only fueled Yixing agitation further. He shouldn’t have to feel guilty for not remembering this stranger. Did they think that Yixing _wanted_ to lose his memory? It was hardly _his_ fault he had no memory of the tall blond. A foul taste filled Yixing’s mouth and he turned his face to the side, a clear indication that he wanted to be alone.  
  
“I… I’ll just come back some other time then, Yixing.”  
  
The bedridden artist didn’t like how naturally his name tumbled out of the blond’s lips before he left.  
  
…  
  
True to his word, Jongdae came the next morning with a detailed explanation of the schedule he had planned for Yixing. And he continued to come every morning immediately after breakfast after that until the end of the week when the therapist took off for the weekend.  
  
It wasn’t until Thursday of his first week of rehab that Yixing noticed the figure watching him from the other side of the window of the rehabilitation room that was filled with a variety of mechanical aids. He frowned visibly and made a point of ignoring Kris, turning his head away deliberately when he accidentally looked up from his wheelchair and met the taller’s eye on the way back to his room. He decided that his supposed personal trainer needed to find something else to do besides just watching him from behind a glass.  
  
Yixing drew the blankets over his head and groaned into his pillow. _And why the hell is he so good looking? He’s a damn personal trainer; it’s completely unnecessary to be looking so good when he doesn’t even have a job under the limelight._  
  
It was a whole week later before Yixing decided he was being ridiculous. He could hardly blame Kris for being concerned about Yixing’s physical health because technically, wasn’t that part of his _job_ as Yixing’s personal trainer? And just like it wasn’t Yixing’s fault for not remembering, it was hardly Kris’ either. Lu Han and Minseok both seemed to like the blond, chatting amicably with him whenever he visited, so he couldn’t be someone too bad, right?  
  
When Jongdae started to wheel him back to his room on Wednesday, Yixing didn’t avoid Kris’ eye and instead, searched for it, asking Jongdae to pause at the door of the rehabilitation room. Jongdae gave Kris a single raised eyebrow before he telling Yixing ‘good work’. “I’ll be back tomorrow at the same time then, Mr. Zhang.”  
  
 It was an awkward minute before Kris broke the silence by offering to wheel Yixing back to his room. Another awkward silence when the two arrive inside the room prompted Kris to hastily suggest that he go grab a couple nurses to help. He turned around brusquely, leaving Yixing (who was already regretting his choice) in his wheelchair about a foot from the edge of the bed.  
  
Yixing dropped his head into his hands, elbows resting on his knees as he took in a deep breath. _It’s okay, Yixing. He only wants to help. And he probably knows at least a little about who you were in the years you’ve forgotten, so it’s probably a good idea to try to be friends with him, right?_  
  
“The nurse is a little busy right now, but she’ll be right over in a second, okay?” Kris announced as he stepped into the room again, pulling the door closed behind him.  
  
“Oh, okay. Thanks,” Yixing responded robotically when he looked up.  
  
Kris shifted a little on his feet, “Er… I’ll just wait for her outside?” he said, though it came out more as a question as he hurried out the door again.  
  
“Uhm, okay,” Yixing answered to the empty room with a shrug, reaching for the linens on the bed and playing with a corner as he waited for a whole five minutes before the idea to simply move himself struck him. _It’s just like… a couple inches, right?_ He pondered to himself, eyeing the gap between the chair and bed.  
  
He slid his feet off the metal footrests hesitantly, toes curling inwards for a second when they touched the cold floor. He bit his lip and waited another second before letting his toes touch the ground again, followed by the balls of his feet and then finally the heel. He swallowed and took a deep breath before he used the armrests to push himself up, feeling a sense of pride wash over him when he managed to stand up straight, hands coming up off the arm rests. A smile made its way across his face and he let out the breath he’d been holding. _See? Not so bad, right?_ Spirits lifted for the first time in two weeks, he drew in another breath and… cried out sharply as the ground started to hurl upwards at him too fast, legs folding under him uncomfortably.  
  
He couldn’t help the hot anger that bubbled up into his throat, making him want to throw up the morning’s breakfast. He hardly heard Kris yelling at him frantically through the raging red until the blond reached for his arm helpfully.  
  
“Stop it! I don’t need your help!” he cried out in irritation, slapping the hand on his elbow away.  
  
“Yixing…” Kris started in a soft voice that only made Yixing’s voice rise.  
  
“I don’t need your pity, Kris! Why are you even here? Why is this even happening to me? I’ve always been a good person, haven’t I? Or did I do something completely stupid in the last few years that made me deserve this?”  
  
“Yixing, it’s not your fault…” Kris continued in a voice Yixing knew was supposed to be soothing but he refused to let it calm him.  
  
“Then why am I here, Kris? Why did I end up getting fucked up in an accident I can’t even remember? Why am I sitting on this stupid hospital floor and not in my studio composing? Why _me_ , Kris? I’ve never asked anyone for any help before but here I am, a cripple who can’t even move a fucking _foot_ without someone’s help, and from someone I don’t even know! And it’s not even just you I can’t remember! I can’t even remember when my fucking _best friend_ got together with his supposedly long term boyfriend! What happens when I finally get discharged and have to start seeing others that I have met but can’t remember any more? I can’t live like that so I might as well just kill myself right here, right now!”  
  
Yixing didn’t even realise he’d been crying hysterically through the second half of his rant before he felt a strong pair of arms wrap around him tightly as he tried to swallow in between hiccups.  
  
“Please… don’t ever say that, Xingxing…” Kris’ hold around him tightened and Yixing felt a tremble through him that wasn’t a result of his own wracked sobs. “D-don’t ever say that you’ll kill yourself… I… Just don’t, okay?”  
  
Yixing felt his body somehow instinctively relax into the hold and he reached up to grasp tightly at Kris’ white shirt desperately, finally letting his hot tears stain it translucent. He didn’t even bother to pretend to brush away the hand on his head stroking his hair slowly because truthfully, he didn’t want it to stop, especially if it meant losing part of the warmth enclosing him.  
  
“It’s okay, Xingxing,” he heard Kris whisper softly in his ear, “Just let it out, you’ll feel better.”  
  
Yixing barely managed a nod into Kris’ chest, momentarily distracted by the fact that this was the second time in less than a minute that the blond had used that nickname.  
  
…

  
_‘Hey where are you?’_

_‘Why aren’t you answering your phone?’_

_‘?’_

_‘Please pick up…’_

_Yixing paced backstage with his phone pressed to the side of his head, stopping only when his stylist hit him lightly on the back of his head, berating Yixing with a scowl as she wrestled with a stubborn curl. Yixing apologized quietly as he pulled the phone from his ear in worry. “Where are you, Kevin?” he grumbled to himself as he recalled the news article on his web browser’s home page._

The Vancouver Grizzlies finally break their seven game losing streak with a 101-93 win against the Toronto Raptors last night but lose a valuable member of their team. Kevin Li was involved in an accident mere hours before game time. Details about the accident are still to be released but some sources suggest that injuries may be career ending.

_Yixing had dialed Kevin’s number the moment he had seen the article, only to reach the basketball player’s voice mail after four rings before he had been called to get in front of the camera for a commercial shoot. He spent the rest of his busy day calling or texting the basketball star, chewing on his nails as they drove from one venue to the next and pacing lengths outside the cramped shared dressing rooms._

_“What the hell has been with you all day?” Lu Han asked with stitched eyebrows as he guided a distracted Yixing towards the main stage and held his hand out to take Yixing’s phone._

_The young star bit his lip as he gave his phone up hesitantly, “Watch that, okay? Answer it if it rings,” he mumbled, ignoring Lu Han’s question. “If it’s Kevin, please ask him where he is.”_

_Lu Han raised an eyebrow as he tucked the phone into his pocket, “Kevin? Like Kevin Li? You’re talking to that jock? I didn’t know you two were friends.”_

_Yixing swallowed, not sure if this was a good time to tell his manager that the term ‘friends’ might not be the most fitting description. “Just do me that one favour?” he finished before taken the steps up to the stage two at a time._

_*_

_At midnight, when filming for the week’s music shows was finally over, Yixing jumped into his car and hurried to the apartment he knew Kevin stayed at during the off season, wondering if there was the possibility that the basketball player would have somehow come here to recover. “Kevin?” he tried with a soft knock at the door to no reply. Yixing let out a disappointed sigh, leaning against the door as he pulled out his phone to try the older’s number again._

_The blond superstar nearly jumped out of his skin when a song started to play behind him, muffled through the door. He turned around abruptly, phone still held up to one ear as he pressed the other side of his face to the door. In experimentation, Yixing pulled the phone away and pressed the red ‘hang up’ button. Half a second later, the quiet music behind the door stopped._

_“Kevin?” Yixing tried again, almost a whisper as he pressed harder against the door to listen for a response. “You in there?”_

_A rustle._

_“Kevin, let me in?”_

_Silence._

_Yixing breathed in deeply as he continued, voice almost pleading by now, “Please…”_

_“Just go home, Yixing.”_

_Yixing couldn’t help the relieved smile that spread across his features when he finally heard the older’s voice after so many hours of trying to reach him. “No. I’m standing here until you open this door.”_

_“Lu Han will get mad when you miss your schedules.”_

_“You think I care?” Yixing shot back, arms crossing in annoyance, “I’ll sit out here on the hard floor all night if I have to.”_

_“Just leave me alone.”_

_“How many ways can I say no? Kevin, don’t do this on your own. I don’t care how strong you think you are. I’m here. Just let me in?”_

_There was silence on the other side again and Yixing balled his fingers into frustrated fists, “Please…”_

_A soft click at the door had Yixing looking up so fast he saw spots flashing over the taller’s face momentarily._

_“Why are you doing this?” Kevin asked with red eyes and leaning on crutches._

_“Isn’t it obvious?” Yixing replied with a grin as he took the older’s hand in his own. “Because you’re worth it, of course.”_

…  
  
 “I’ll be fine, Zitao, don’t you have a performance in a couple of hours you should be prepping for?” Yixing reassured from the bed.  
  
“But,” Zitao started, “I don’t want to be away if anything happens again. You promise you won’t try something stupid like that again?”  
  
“Stop worrying so much, you’re going to get white hair! Besides, Lu Han is here, he’ll keep me company.” Zitao continued to give Yixing a worried look and the latter has to give the former a slight shove, “Just go, okay? A thousand fans will be disappointed and leave Tao’s fanclub if you don’t show up at your performance. I’ll be fine, I promise.”  
  
Zitao finally sighed in defeat, “Okay, but call me for anything, okay?” he urged, finishing with a soft press of his lips against Yixing’s before slipping out the door with a wave that Yixing returned half-heartedly.  
  
Yixing wasn’t sure how he felt about Zitao acting so intimate with him, but he didn’t have the courage to bring it up. It wasn’t Zitao’s fault if he was just acting the way he had before the accident. After a moment of contemplation, he decided to let the situation rest for now; perhaps he’d feel different if he recovered his memories.  
  
No, not ‘if’, _‘when’_ , Yixing amended, reminding himself of the positive attitude he’d promised himself when Kris finally left the night he tried walking: _when_ he recovered his memories.  
  
Yixing let out a sigh and sit up straighter in an effort to make the positive attitude physical. Clearing his throat, he finally noticed the curious gaze Lu Han was sending him. “What?” he asked, “Is there something on my face?”  
  
“Huh? Oh. Sorry, I was just spacing out about work for a bit, sorry.”  
  
“Oh. Okay,” Yixing replied, hesitating before he started again, “Uhm, you know that performance I was supposed to have at the, uhm, NBA All Star weekend? Did it happen? I mean, I know the weekend happened, I just wanted to know, uhm… what happened after it, I guess?”  
  
 “Oh… uhm… Well, it was a huge hit with the North American market and Lay got really popular over there after that. I also remember you giving me a headache cleaning after your mess when a bunch of reporters caught you having a good time with a bunch of the players after the Sunday All Star Game.” Lu Han pulled out his tablet from his bag and headed towards the bed while typing furiously on the screen with the fingers on one hand, “Here, you even posted pictures of yourself with them on your website,” Lu Han explained as he handed the device towards Yixing who eyed it with a nervous swallow before Luhan placed it in Yixing’s lap encouragingly and crossed his arms.  
  
Yixing hesitantly lifted a finger and started to flip through the pictures before he paused at his own smile glowing up at him, arm wrapped around the waist of someone familiar.  
  
 _Met Kevin Li! He’s really tall, right? Kekeke…_  
  
“Wait… isn’t that…?” Yixing started, head cocking to the side as he tried to convince himself that he wasn’t seeing what he was seeing. He looked up at Lu Han expectantly, finger still hovering over the picture on the tablet.  
  
Lu Han seemed to swallow hesitantly before he unfolded his arms and reached to take the device back with a sigh, “Kris, you mean?” Yixing nodded, a raised eyebrow prompting Lu Han to continue. “Kevin Li retired from professional basketball because of a career-ending injury in his leg. And by chance, he ended up getting a job at the company after that. He said he changed his name because he wanted a fresh start, without all the attachments that his old name came with.”  
  
Yixing nodded slowly, eyeing the image on the screen until Lu Han finally turned it off and placed it on the table beside the bed. He was about to ask Lu Han what the relationship between himself and Kris was but was interrupted by the subject himself.  
  
“Oh, uhm, sorry. Did I walk in on something important?” the blond ex-professional athlete apologized, standing in the door frame awkwardly as he looked between Yixing and his manager.  
  
Lu Han shook his head with a shrug, reaching into his pocket to pull out his ringing phone. Glancing at the screen, he let out a disgruntled grumble, “I gotta take this. You think you can manage without me for a couple minutes?” He asked Yixing with a hint of concern in his voice, receiving a quick nod in return. Lu Han hurried to the door, hesitating once when he turned to Kris and opened his mouth to say something.  
  
Kris only rolled his eyes, “We’ll be fine, Lu Han. _I promise_. Just go take your call.”  
  
Lu Han continued to open and close his mouth soundlessly a couple more times before Kris shook his head and steered Yixing’s manager out the door, closing it quietly after him. Turning around, Kris crossed his arms in front of him and cleared his throat. He looked around Yixing momentarily before exhaling slowly and untangling his arms and running his hands up and down his thighs, “So, uhm…” he started uneasily before finding the couch and sinking into it.  
  
“Can I ask you something?” Yixing piped up, making Kris jump back up, clearly having been startled by the initiation of conversation; Kris had visited Yixing plenty of times before, but the idol had never been the one to speak up first. “What are you doing here?”  
  
Kris’ eyebrows furrowed together in visible confusion, “What do you mean…?”  
  
“I mean, you’re my trainer or whatever, right? But you come to see me in the hospital _everyday_ , like more than Lu Han even. Were we really good friends before I, you know… lost my memory?” Yixing paused to search for a reaction, “I really just want to know as much about myself from before the accident, and I’m really sorry if we were close and I just don’t remember.”  
  
Kris opened his mouth, only to close it half a second later, prompting Yixing to give him an encouraging look that Kris responded with a nervous clench of his jaw. “We-”  
  
If Yixing had ever wanted to hit anyone, it would be the nurse who decided that now was the perfect time to come in to draw a vial of blood. He glared daggers at her until he finally reasoned that it was hardly her fault she was just doing her job.  
  
“Keep pressure on that, okay?” she ordered nicely as she pulled the needle out of the inside of his elbow. Yixing nodded soundlessly as he placed two fingers over the cotton ball, sighing quietly with relief as he watched the nurse leave the room and close the door behind her.  
  
Kris stepped up to the bed from where he’d shifted out of the way for the nurse and brushed Yixing’s hand to make room for his own, wrapping his longs fingers gently around his elbow and applying a light pressure with his thumb.  
  
The affectionate action made Yixing swallow nervously and he pulled his now free hand back to his side, playing at the side of his gown. “‘We’ what?” he prompted Kris, determined more than before to define the strange relationship he seemed to have with Kris. He watched a muscle in the ex-professional athlete’s jaw clench, the pressure around his elbow hitching in the slightest before Kris let out a sigh as he reached for the roll of medical tape sitting on the side table.  
  
Ripping a length long enough to hold down the cotton ball, the blond pulled the sleeve down from above the elbow again, fingertips sending shivers down Yixing’s spine as they grazed over his skin lightly. “What did Lu Han tell you about me?” Kris asked Yixing in return, crossing his arms tightly over his chest.  
  
Yixing frowned at having the questions turned back on himself, and the fact that Kris seemed hesitant only reaffirmed the creeping feeling that he’d been feeling ever since the first time Kris walked into his room that he and Lu Han were keeping something important from him. Yixing’s eyebrows furrowed together, a bubble of annoyance starting to rise into his chest, “I don’t care what Lu Han told me. I want _you_ to tell me yourself. What are you and Lu Han hiding from me?”  
  
The door swung open again and Yixing’s mouth dropped to yell at the nurse for being the most inopportune human on the planet only to find Zitao standing at the door instead. Yixing took a deep breath to calm himself, trying to put on a smile for the younger; Yixing may have accepted that somehow in his lost years he and the self-confident artist had gotten together officially, but he was still annoyed that Zitao had interrupted an important conversation. “Hey. What are you doing back so early?”  
  
Zitao stormed angrily towards the bed, taking a seat at the end of it with a momentary glare at Kris that Yixing almost missed. “Stupid storm outside cancelled my show. I think they’re thinking of doing it next week or something, whatever,” he whined.  
  
Yixing hummed as Zitao continued his tirade, attention straying from his supposed boyfriend towards Kris who had backed away and started towards the door. Afraid that Kris might not return again after Yixing’s confrontational comment, he sat up straight in his bed and called after the retreating figure, “Hey! Wait! Kris!”  
  
Zitao stopped talking immediately, giving Yixing a startled look before glancing nervously between the two. The recovering artist barely heard his name being called, his attention still on Kris, who had stopped in his tracks without turning, head hung lower than usual and fists at his side. He hardly bothered to face Zitao as he asked the younger to give the only other members in the room a couple of minutes to finish their conversation. He didn’t miss the glare that Zitao shot at Kris for the second time in less than five minutes, and he filed it as another question he had to ask but at another time.  
  
Zitao looks nervously between the two another beat before sighing, “Uhm, okay. I’ll go grab a coffee. You want anything?” When Yixing did little more than a subtle shake of his head, Zitao finally got up and started out again.  
  
“I just,” Yixing started when he and the tall blond were alone again, “I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable Kris. I just really need to know what happened to me. I’m trying to remember who you were to me, and I get these weird dreams and I…” Yixing felt a stinging in his eyes and he squeezed his eyelids closed tightly and took a deep breath to calm himself, “I just need to know Kris. I can’t remember anything by myself so I need a little help here.”  
  
“You and I…” Kris started in a low voice that Yixing had to crane his neck to hear, before turning slowly on the spot. Yixing couldn’t help but feel annoyed that Kris wasn’t moving any closer but he held his tongue, waiting patiently for the giant to continue his thought. “We were… _close_ … before your accident…”  
  
A sharp pang of guilt resonated in Yixing’s chest again and his head dropped, “I’m sorry… I… don’t remember. I just… I mean…” he fumbled, not sure what he could possibly say. His fingers played idly at the side of his hospital shirt instead. A hand on his shoulder stopped his own swirling thoughts and he looked up to find that Kris had finally moved.  
  
“It’s not your fault, Yixing.”  
  
It was a line that he had been told countless times in the last weeks, one he refused to believe every other time, but for some reason, hearing the same words in Kris’ soothing voice had a different effect. He wanted to believe him. “Do you…” he started quietly, “Do you know what happened in the accident? I mean, I’ve asked Lu Han, but he keeps saying it’s in the past now and that I shouldn’t worry about it and he also keeps saying that it’s not my fault, but I just really need to know, you know?”  
  
Kris let out an audible sigh before pulling up a chair to the side of the bed, settling into it while dragging his fingers through his hair in contemplation, “It really was an accident. You were in the passenger seat when the crash happened and you just got the brunt of the crash.”  
  
A weight seemed to lift off Yixing’s shoulders as he learned that he hadn’t been driving, couldn’t possibly have been the cause of the crash. “Do you know what I was with then? Who the driver was?”  
  
The momentary comfortableness between himself and Kris was broken as the legs of the chair scratched against the linoleum flooring. “Does it really matter?”  
  
“Yes it does,” he answered sternly; he was getting tired of all the secrets that everyone seemed to keeping from him lately and he was beginning to feel like they were babying him, like they didn’t think that he could handle the truth. “Just tell me, Kris.”  
  
Kris seemed to hesitate for a moment before sighing with resignation, “You were with Tao.”  
  
And eyebrow raised on Yixing’s face as he contemplated why Kris seemed reluctant to share this; it seemed perfectly logical that he would have been with his boyfriend at the time of the crash.  
  
…

Kris swallowed uncomfortably as he watched Yixing process the information. He really ought to come perfectly clean with Yixing, but the voice of Lu Han ran loud in his head: _The doctor said not to say anything to him that might give him a huge shock. And since that Tao seems to have decided to play the role of Yixing’s boyfriend, I think it’s best if you just… lay low for a bit, at least until we know that Yixing can handle it._

The tall blond was almost glad when the annoying prick barged back through the door, relieving him from being the only thing for Yixing to focus on in the room. He still hated the boy, but Yixing seemed to have accepted him. He gave Yixing a parting squeeze on the shoulder before citing an excuse to head back to the company to work with a couple of trainees, scowling a last time at the kiss Tao gave _his_ fiancé before heading out the door. As he shouldered his bag, he remembered the reason he’d shown up in the first place. Stopping for a moment to dig through his bag, he produced a bottle that he placed quietly on the table beside the bed. “Lu Han told me that you’re finally allowed outside food, so I thought you might want a familiar drink,” he explained with a small smile, hoping that the bedridden brunet remembered that that particular brand had always been his favourite for milk tea, even before the two had met.

…  
  
For about five minutes, Yixing managed to push his thoughts to the back of his mind, but what Kris said before he left was putting up a fight, determined not to be ignored. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were there?” he finally spoke up.  
  
Zitao looked up startled, mouth hanging slightly in mid-sentence, “What?”  
  
“The accident,” Yixing pushed, “You never told me you were the one driving when the crash happened.”  
  
Something flit across Zitao’s features that told Yixing he’d hit close to home, that he was on the right track. The thing he couldn’t understand was why Zitao felt the need to hide it. It was perfectly understandable that the accident happened during a date or-  
  
“Did Kris say that?”  
  
Yixing blinked out of his reverie with confusion, “Kris?” Why was that the first thing that Zitao would ask?  
  
“He told you I was the reason that you’re in this situation right now, didn’t he?” The dark haired boy jumped to his feet and started pacing the length of the room, running his fingers through his hair nervously, “Well of course he would, why wouldn’t he, that asshole.”  
  
A crease formed on Yixing’s forehead as he reached his arm forward to grab Zitao’s as he paced alongside his monologue, trying to calm him down again. He didn’t quite understand why Zitao was so flustered but sent him a light squeeze anyway, making the latter stop in his tracks and turn his attention sharply down to Yixing again.  
  
“I didn’t get you into that accident, Yixing. You were with Kris.” Zitao frowned once before pulling his arm to himself angrily and turning to leave.  
  
Yixing stared blankly after Zitao much in the same way he had stared after Kris though with even more confusion this time. His eyes landed on the bottle of milk tea on his side table, recognizing it as his favourite brand; Kris was probably telling the truth when he said they were close before the accident, right?  
  
“I have to go. Try to get some sleep okay, Yixing?” Zitao muttered with forced concern, grabbing his wallet off the table and barely gave Yixing another glance before leaving the room in evident irritation.  
  
Yixing’s fingers tightened around the sheets at his knees as questions flew around his mind, trying to find a reason why either of Zitao of Kris would lie to him about his accident. His instinct was to trust Kris but the only way he could explain that was merely the fact that Kris had told Yixing his part before Zitao.  
  
The amnesiac artist ground his teeth together and squeezed his eyes shut tightly, willing the growing headache to disperse. He buried his face in his pillow and waited for the relief that sleep would bring him from his troubling thoughts.  
  
…

_“Huang Zitao! Please slow down!” Yixing yelled over the whir of the engine, fingers of one hand gripping the ledge of the window of the passenger seat in the younger’s car while the other hand wrapped tightly around the seat belt around his waist._

_“Why didn’t you tell me, Yixing?” Zitao asked, a crazed look in his eyes, “Why was I the last to know?”_

_“What?” Yixing answered reflexively, hardly hearing the question with his entire focus on the speeding scenery in front of him as the driver weaved in and out of traffic on the streets._

_“You’re getting married to Kris? Why didn’t you tell me? I thought we were friends!”_

_Yixing felt his pulse quickening in his chest, “Is that what this is about? Zitao, can you please just stop the car and we can talk about this?”_

_“Why him, Yixing? Why not me?”_

_Yixing nearly let out a yelp when the car raced through a red light, several car horns directed at them as they continued down the road. “Uhm, first of all, he didn’t trick me into getting his Car of Death and second of all, ‘you and I’ was just a gimmick to help movie ticket sales. Haven’t we been through this?”_

_Zitao didn’t reply, eyes steady on the road in front of him as the needle on his speedometer pushed past 160 km/h and Yixing closed his eyes to keep from throwing up from the flashing of the street lights streaming past them. “_ Please _, Zitao. Just stop and pull over, okay?”_

_There was a sharp swerve to the right side of the road as Zitao tried to avoid a truck driving through the intersection perpendicular to them. Yixing felt his seatbelt snap as it locked and his eyes widened in horror as he felt his center of gravity pull out from under him. Instinctively, one hand went up in front of his face defensively while the other wrapped tightly around the ring that hung around the silver chain around his neck, muttering a quick apology in his head to Kris for missing his date with him at the altar tonight._


	2. Chapter 2

“You sure you want to check yourself out so soon?” Lu Han asked as he handed Yixing his jacket with a worried look on his face, “I mean, wouldn’t it be better to stay in the hospital for a while longer just to make sure everything is okay?”  
  
Yixing scowled as he pulled the jacket sleeve up his arm, “Lu Han. I’ve been stuck here for almost two months. Even all my doctors and therapists say it’s okay for me to leave. I just have to come back to check in after a week. Besides, I need to start feeling normal again, and the best way for that is to start _acting_ normal again.”  
  
Lu Han glared at his superstar for a moment before sighing with resignation. “God, I forgot how difficult you were four years ago.”  
  
Yixing swallowed hard, pulling on the collar of his jacket to cover up; he still wasn’t used to the idea of losing four years of his life and for the last month of his hospitalization he had decided that it would be easier to just comfortably be himself the way he knew instead of trying to imagine what he _should_ be like _now_.  
  
“Fine,” Lu Han continued, “But only if you stay with me so I can keep an eye out for you.”  
  
Yixing let out a groan as he started towards the door, “Can’t I just go back to my place and give you a call if I need anything? Normal, remember?”  
  
Lu Han raised an eyebrow as he fell into step beside Yixing in the sterile hallway, “Your place? You sold your place last year.”  
  
Yixing stopped in his tracks with a raised eyebrow. “What? Why would I do that? I love that place!” he exclaimed, noting Lu Han’s hesitance to explain.  
  
“Because you were living with your boyfriend.”  
  
Yixing turned around at the new voice, finding Zitao walking towards them, hand grabbing the strap on the backpack that was slung on one shoulder, knuckles turning white, and the other hand holding onto a helium filled aluminum balloon with a giant smiley face printed onto it.  
  
Yixing let out a quiet ‘Oh’ as he hung his head, teeth grinding together as he reminded himself that he shouldn’t feel guilty for not remembering.  
  
“He’s staying with me, Huang Zitao,” Lu Han interrupted as the younger celebrity stopped in front of the pair. “And what are you doing here anyway?”  
  
Zitao shrugged with his free shoulder, “Yixing’s finally getting out. Thought it would only be proper to pick him up myself.”  
  
“I’m not sure it’s the best idea for Yixing to be seen with you today, Tao,” Lu Han started.  
  
“Why not?” Zitao returned, crossing his arms across his chest, “I mean, it’s not like it should come as a surprise to anyone that I would come to see Yixing on such a big day.”  
  
“You know the media, Tao,” Lu Han continued with an exasperated tone. “They’ll likely say something about Yixing not focusing on his recovery and just hanging out with _Tao_ or something.”  
  
Yixing heard Zitao kiss his teeth in disapproval as he crossed his arms and looked away. The amnesiac superstar raised an eyebrow at the apparent tension between his manager and his supposed boyfriend, sighing as he stepped forward to put a hand on the younger’s shoulder, “Tao…” he started, trying to keep his voice consoling, “I’ll go with Lu Han. It’s fine. He’s right, the paparazzi will find some way to write me off in a bad way. I’ll call you later, okay?”  
  
Zitao merely scowled once at Lu Han before turning on his heel and retreating once more. Lu Han stared after him for a moment before turning once more, “Anyway, Minseok says sorry that he can’t make it. Got some stuff at work to do,” he explained, clearly not bothered like Yixing was with the exchange with Zitao.  
  
*  
  
“The kitchen is here and-”  
  
Yixing grabbed Lu Han around the elbow, cutting the latter off in the middle of his sentence, “Lu Han. I’ve been to you place before. Granted, that was apparently four years ago, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that the rooms are in all the same spots still.”  
  
Lu Han sighed as he dropped one of the bags from over his shoulder onto the ground, “God, I forgot how much of a smart aleck you can be sometimes.”  
  
Yixing snorted and grabbed a bar of chocolate that was sitting on the kitchen table, “You wouldn’t have to deal with it if you had just let me go back to my place after being discharged from the hospital.”  
  
Lu Han rolled his eyes, “I’m not letting you stay on your own right after leaving the hospital. Especially with your stupid personality, you’d probably end up drinking just like the doctor said _not_ to do.”  
  
“Always the trusting tone with you, huh, Lu Han? Nothing has changed, eh?” Yixing replied sarcastically as he started towards the guest room, grabbing a bottle of water on the way.  
  
“Either me or Minseok will be home with you, okay?”  
  
Yixing took a sip from his bottle and turned to face his host as he kept walking, “Riiight, you and Minseok. I never got the chance to ask, how did _that_ happen? I mean, the last I remember, Minseok was acting like a teenager that had no idea how to ask you out.”  
  
“Excuse me?”  
  
Yixing spun around, nearly tripping over his own feet when he found the very subject of conversation standing in the doorway of the master bedroom. “Oh, hey Minseok. Didn’t, uh, didn’t see you there,” he stuttered, embarrassed. “Lu Han said you were working…”  
  
Minseok narrowed his eyes momentarily at Yixing, “I live here,” he answered flatly before walking past Yixing towards Lu Han, “I just forgot some stuff. I’m heading back to meet with Kris. I’ll see you tonight?” Minseok leaned forwards to place his lips lightly on Lu Han’s cheek, making Yixing turn away awkwardly; he wasn’t quite used to the idea of his choreographer and his manager shacking up. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” Minseok said as he headed out the door, “Try to get some sleep, okay Yixing?”  
  
Yixing waited until Minseok was out the door before he quietly let out the breath he’d been holding from embarrassment, trying too hard not to focus on the part where Minseok had mentioned who exactly it was that he was meeting.  
  
Kris hadn’t come by to visit Yixing at the hospital since revealing that Zitao had been involved with the crash, and Yixing couldn’t quite place the reason, but he felt annoyed at him for leaving with half an explanation that only created more questions in Yixing’s head.          
  
…

Kris ran along the hallway, muttering ‘Excuse me’s as he hurried past several trainees towards the elevator where Lu Han stood waiting to go down to the main floor. “Lu Han!”

The manager turned at the sound of his name just as the elevator _ding_ ed to announce its arrival and Kris dug his heels in as he approached to avoid a collision with another employee as they stepped out of the metal box. “I need a favour from you,” the taller started as he pulled his bag up to rummage through.

“Favour?” Lu Han repeated with a raised eyebrow as he stepped into the elevator, holding his hand out to keep the doors from sliding closed as Kris joined him without looking where he was walking. “You better make it quick, I gotta go home before Yixing tears my home down in boredom.”

Kris nodded as the doors closed and he pulled something white from his bag, “Right, I know. How’s he sleeping?”

Lu Han frowned, “Why don’t you ask him yourself?”

Kris scowled indignantly as he muttered, “You’re the one who said I should keep away.” He let out a sigh at the guilty look on Lu Han’s face, “I don’t think I can be around him without telling him the truth, Lu Han. That and if I see him with Tao again, I might just do something I’ll regret, like punching the idiot in his precious stage face.”

Lu Han couldn’t help but laugh, aware that half kidding about his possible violent tendencies was Kris’ own way to keep himself from actually hurting anyone. “What was the favour you wanted, Kris?”

The taller thrust a stuffed rabbit out at Lu Han, “Can you pass this on to Yixing? He’s probably having a hard time sleeping now that he’s off his meds and not in his own bed.”

Lu Han took the toy and a smirk made its way onto his face, “Are you serious? He sleeps with this?” Kris glared hard enough to make him swallow his laugh and clear his throat, “Okay, I’ll give it to him when I get home. Are you happy now? Anything else?”

 Kris resisted the urge to say that he could hardly be happy with Yixing still oblivious to their history but chose not to make the conversation awkward again. Instead, he shook his head as the door slid open once more. “Just get that to him before he turns in for the night today, okay?”

…  
  
For the second night in a row, Yixing lay in Lu Han’s guest bed staring blankly at the ceiling. The previous night, Yixing had tossed and turned in his sheets, silently cursing his stubbornness at declining his doctor’s prescription for sleeping medications, ending up with _maybe_ three hours of sleep over the course of the night. He had always had trouble sleeping in beds that weren’t his own, something he’d forgotten while in the hospital where the nurse always brought him his pills with dinner.  
  
The ticking of the wall clock was the only sound in the dark until he heard the front door click open. He listened to Lu Han’s footfalls pause in the living room (Minseok had probably fallen asleep on the couch waiting for him) before they stopped outside his bedroom door.  
  
“Hey Yixing? You still awake?” Lu Han whispered as the door creaked open and Yixing hummed affirmatively in response. “I thought so. You still can’t sleep well if it’s not in your own bed, huh?” Lu Han stepped into the room and closed the door behind him quietly before flicking on the lights, making Yixing cringe at the brightness as he pulled himself upright to greet Lu Han. “Sorry, but I’ll be real quick okay?” Lu Han rummaged through his messenger bag and pulled out a familiar fluffy rabbit. “Thought this might help?”  
  
Yixing reached out immediately with a smile spreading on his face, “Where’d you find him?” he exclaimed, head tilting to the side as he took in the cerulean scarf that was wrapped around the neck. Yixing had no recollection of ever knitting a scarf, though he was pretty sure he wasn’t the one to do it anyway; the threads were messy and not at all aligned properly.  
  
Lu Han shrugged, “I have my ways,” he answered with a mutter as he moved to turn off the light again, “Anyway, I’m going to kick Min off the couch. G’night, Xing.”  
  
Yixing studied his inanimate best friend in the moonlight from the window and, deciding he’d figure out if he wanted to keep the scarf tomorrow after he’d caught up on his much needed sleep, he crawled under his sheets once more, sleep finally beckoning warmly.  
  
…  
  
Yixing breathed out a sigh of relief as he stepped through the company front doors with Lu Han, smiling politely at the receptionist. A smile pulled at the corners of his lips as he walked past a wall with posters of his own face plastered across them, and while he recognized himself in each of them, he couldn’t remember posing for the unfamiliar concepts. He turned away after the sixth confusing poster, trying to focus on the fact that he was back at home instead of on the fact that he was missing four years of his life. “Hey, I’m going to go find a piano okay, Lu Han?” he announced as he eyed the staircase to his favourite practice room on the third floor of the building.  
  
Lu Han nodded distractedly as he continued to chat to an unknown party on his cell phone. He covered the microphone on the device as he whispered to Yixing, “Call me if you need anything, okay?”  
  
Yixing only rolled his eyes in exasperation as he jogged towards the stairs, an excited grin forming as he took the steps two at a time. Knocking once as a habit before entering the first of an entire hallway of practice rooms, Yixing pushed the door open slowly, relieved when he found the room empty save for a black baby grand piano. He locked the door to the sound proof room and took a seat carefully on the bench, doubting for a moment if he would be able to play after the accident. He hit middle C a couple of times with his forefinger as he contemplated searching for some form of sheet music to read off of. His fingers hovered over the ivory keys before he finally let out the breath he was holding and closed his eyes, searching for something to play from memory.  
  
Before he had even chosen to play one of his older pieces, his fingers were already moving on their own, something Yixing was sure was the result of muscle memory. Yixing struggled to search his mind for the source but found nothing close to what his fingers were remembering. Frustrated, he pushed away from the black and white keys and threw the door open again, heading straight for the library and ignoring the curious looks of the others working on the computers that filled the room. He chose one in the furthest corner of the room, flicking on the screen with a quick push of a button. Yixing chewed on his thumbnail, his knee bouncing up and down anxiously as he waited for the system to search through the company’s servers for his old music, determined to find the piece he’d just played. A folder with his name on it popped onto the screen and Yixing clicked it carefully, folding his legs up into his chest as he clocked the icon labelled “Albums” and searched his pockets for a pair of headphones.  
  
The progression from generic upbeat pop music to acoustic sounds with each release alarmed Yixing as he continued to search for the alien piece he’d played, clicking through the titles and letting them play for a minute before choosing the next one. He had always dreamed of playing the instruments in his music himself, without the help of computer generated sounds, but the company had been adamant that it was the best way to reach the broadest audience. “I guess I finally got popular enough to be able to be part of the decision making process behind the music,” he muttered to himself sarcastically as he clicked on the next selection in the collection.  
  
The arrangement of notes he’d played on the piano started to play through his headphones and he sat up straighter in anticipation, clicking the ‘Volume Up’ button on the window as a relieved smile made its way to his face. Uncurling his legs so he could pull his seat closer to the table, Yixing clicked through the folders until he found a video file under the same name as the piece playing into his ears.  
  
Yixing found his fingers playing the piece quietly on the table as a familiar face showed up on the screen opposite the female protagonist. “Kris?” he thought out loud as his eyebrows stitched together; had he been such good friends with Kris to have the latter play the leading role in his video? He bit down on his lower lip as he hugged his knees to his chest once more, eyes steady on the screen as he watched the video with scrutiny, scowling at the ending when Kris leaned down to kiss the girl.  
  
Yixing nearly fell out his chair in alarm when his phone vibrated loudly against the glass table with an incoming call. He hit the pause button quickly before pulling the buds out of his ear and picking up his phone to answer.  
  
“Feeling like some lunch?” Lu Han asked, making Yixing check his wrist; how long has he been in here listening to his music?  
  
“Yeah, sure. I hadn’t realised it was so late. What’d you have in mind?” He answered easily before his eyes flickered up at the computer screen again. His teeth ground together as he studied the way Kris stared down at the girl with adoration, playing his role in the music video perfectly against the accompanying music. He hardly heard the options Lu Han has started to list, focus on the softness in Kris’ eyes before he irritably clicked the small ‘x’ in the corner to close the video, feeling inexplicably  annoyed at the actress he didn’t recognize.  
  
“So? Which one sounds the best?”  
  
Yixing cleared his throat as he drew his attention back to Lu Han, clicking the open folders closed on the computer before getting up from his seat. “It all sounds great. You pick, Lu Han,” he replied, trying to keep the growing frustration in his chest hidden in his voice.  
  
There was a moment of hesitation before Lu Han’s voice carried through the earpiece again, “Are you okay, Yixing?” He asked simply, reminding Yixing how annoyingly accurate Lu Han had always been at gauging his mood.  
  
Yixing took a breath to clear his mind as he forced happiness into his tone, “Yeah, why?” he feigned, “I’ll wait for you downstairs.”  
  
…  
  
Yixing let out a long sigh as he pulled the zipper on his duffel closed, pushing it to the side as he sat down on the end of the change room bench to tie his shoelaces.  
  
“Come on, Xing, please?” Lu Han persisted, pushing the bag to the side so he could sit down next to Yixing.  
  
Yixing turned to scowl at his manager, frown pulling down further as he took in the annoying pout on the older’s face. “Stop doing that, it doesn’t suit you.”  
  
Lu Han dropped the expression in favour for his usual grin, “Is that a ‘yes’ then?”  
  
Yixing rolled his eyes, “Why did you tell your cousin you were free to look after her kid when you’d already made plans with Minseok?”  
  
Lu Han put on his best offended look as he followed Yixing out the door, the latter slinging the bag across his shoulder as they walked down the hallway. “Come on, just say yes.”  
  
Yixing let out a long sigh; he’d planned to get a couple more hours of dance practice after grabbing a quick bite, but Lu Han was doing a mighty fine job of giving Yixing pleading eyes. “Fine,” he resigned with exasperation, “But you owe me when my comeback to the music scene gets delayed because of this.”  
  
Lu Han snorted derisively as he shook his head disapprovingly, “Whatever, you drama king. My cousin’s dropping her off at my place in about an hour but I told Minseok I’d be meeting him after he was done with teaching that new group that’s supposed to debut in a couple months, so if you could…?”  
  
Yixing narrowed his eyes and let out a scoff, “I hate you. Tell me again why we are even friends?” he muttered out loud before picking up his pace and heading for the stairs with a dismissive wave behind him.  
  
…

Kris froze as he reached for his ringing phone and recognized Yixing’s number glaring up at him. He hesitated a moment as he sank back into his couch, contemplating if he should pick up or simply ignore the ringing.

_It’s Yixing, of_ course _you’re going to answer it, you idiot_ , he found himself thinking as-a-matter-of-fact and he groaned at his own weakness as he swiped his finger over the screen to connect the call.

“I need a huge favour,” Yixing’s voice rang with assertion and Kris tried to ignore the way Yixing always called him and never said a proper ‘hello’ before diving into the topic that had him calling in the first place.

Kris swallowed the nervous lump in his throat as he tried to calm his nerves; in the past month since Yixing had been released from the hospital, the two hadn’t interacted outside their weekly meetings to assess the artist’s progress and Kris had trouble trying to figure out how to respond appropriately.

“Kris? You still there?”

Yixing’s voice startled Kris from his thoughts and he cleared his throat, “Yeah, what did you say you needed?”

“I didn’t,” Yixing retorted quickly, “Lu Han somehow convinced me to look after his cousin’s kid, but then I realised that I have no idea how to do that.”

“Uhm… okay…?” Kris replied, crossing his arms on his chest as he raised an eyebrow in contemplation of what Yixing was trying to ask for his “huge favour”.

“Do you really not know what I’m trying to get at here, Kris?”

Kris couldn’t help but grin even as he shook his head at Yixing’s annoyed tone that reminded the older of when he’d first met the singer. Still, he swallowed hard at the suggestion Yixing was trying to propose; he hadn’t yet found a way to be around Yixing in a non-professional setting that didn’t end up in him wanting to tell Yixing the whole truth. “What about Tao?” Kris asked, trying to keep the bite away from his voice as he clenched his jaw at the name.

“Would you just open the door?” Yixing asked in return, impatience climbing in his voice.

“What?”

“Open your door, Kris. Are you deaf?”

Kris raised an eyebrow as he got to his feet and headed to his front door, “What the hell do I need to open my door for, Yixing?” The end of his question trailed into nothing as he looked through his peephole and found a distorted image of Yixing glaring up at him that made him draw a sharp breath. He paused for a minute before he started to pace in front of the door, trying to come up with excuses why he couldn’t help Yixing with his problem.

“You know I can see your pacing shadow under the door, right?”

Kris stopped in his tracks and spun to glare at his door, biting his tongue to keep from swearing out loud. He closed his eyes as he took a deep breath and reached for the handle. “You know, you could’ve just rung the doorbell,” he grumbled, still into his phone even as he glowered at Yixing.

Yixing rolled his eyes as he pocketed his phone with the hand that was reaching beside him for who Kris assumed was Lu Han’s cousin’s daughter. “You’re not supposed to show up at someone’s door without calling first.”

Kris scowled as he stepped aside for the pair, “This hardly qualifies as calling before showing up.” He closed the door behind Yixing and raised an eyebrow at the girl who had yet to lift her eyes from her hand held device to greet Kris. “Which brings me back to ‘Why are you here?’ Why didn’t you just ask Tao for help?”

Yixing shrugged as he kicked his shoes off and looked around Kris’ home. “Zitao’s still a kid himself. I doubt if I brought Ai Qin to him he’d know what to do besides flip out.”

“And I was your second choice? Don’t you have any other friends?”

Kris watched a muscle clench in Yixing’s jaw and wished he hadn’t said anything. “I don’t recognize any of the names in my phone and the people I remember I have no point of contact for.”

Kris uttered a quiet ‘oh’ before he stood a comfortable distance behind the couch Yixing had seated himself and Ai Qin in. “So what do you expect me to do?” the tall blond asked.

Yixing shrugged as he brushed aside a stray strand of hair on the girl’s face as she leaned over her game. “I dunno. I figured a grown-up like you would know what to do with a kid.”

Kris laughed quietly, “I’m only a year older than you, Zhang Yixing.”

“Yes, but in _my_ head, you’re five years older than me still.”

“She seems perfectly fine right now.”

Yixing turned his head to scowl at Kris before pulling his phone out again and indicating that Kris should check his.

_“Five year olds shouldn’t be just playing video games all the time.”_

_“Okay… well then why don’t you do something about that?”_

Kris could hear the annoyed hiss from Yixing that was undoubtedly directed at himself without having to look up from his phone.

_“You think I haven’t tried?! Why else do you think I’m here?”_

Kris let out a long sigh as he slid his phone back into his pocket and started towards the couple on his living room couch, taking a seat on the other side of the girl. “You like animals?” he asked her conversationally, noting the farming game she was playing.

Ai Qin hummed an affirmative response without looking up and Kris turned towards Yixing who only shrugged in an I-told-you-so manner.

“Want to see some in real life?” Kris continued.

“Zoos are boring. You just stand there and stare at sleeping animals,” she replied, the first words out of her since she walked through Kris’ door.

Kris grinned, “Come on, I know somewhere better to go,” he announced as he stood up, motioning for Yixing to follow suite.

The girl hit the pause button on her game to look up at Kris disdainfully though the blond could tell that he had her interest peaked. He smiled wider and took the device from her, offering his hand in exchange for her to hold onto to. Ai Qin made a pout but took his hand all the same, following closely behind as the oldest of the three led the way to his car.

  
…  
  
“She’s definitely down for at least a couple hours,” Kris announced on his way back from his guest room, grabbing a glass from a kitchen cupboard.  
  
Yixing hummed in reply, still lost in his thoughts since coming back from the petting zoo Kris had brought them to. He fiddled with Ai Qin’s device that they had left on the coffee table when the trio had left the apartment three hours ago as the little girl’s cheerful voice replayed in his head. _Are you and Kris oppa like Uncle Lu Han and Minseok? He looks at you like Minseok oppa looks at  Uncle._ It had been an innocent passing comment that Ai Qin had voiced as they waited for Kris to return with more feed for the baby goat Ai Qin had taken a particular liking to.  
  
“So?”  
  
Yixing’s attention snapped back to the present when Kris waved his hand in front of the younger’s face and he blinked a couple times. “Sorry, what?”  
  
“I asked if you wanted to get something to eat now or if you wanted to wait for until later. I’m not sure if Ai Qin will be up before tomorrow morning,” Kris stated flatly as he crossed his arms and took a seat on the coffee table in front of where Yixing sat on the couch.  
  
“Oh, uhm. I’m not too hungry yet,” he mumbled before setting Ai Qin’s toy on the coffee table next to where Kris sat.  
  
“Oh, okay…” Kris answered simply, gaze holding steady on the guest sitting in his couch.  
  
Yixing shifted uneasily under the older stare, “What?” he asked carefully.  
  
Kris unfolded his arms and cleared his throat, standing up and taking a couple steps back, “Why exactly did we bring Ai Qin back to _my_ place and not Lu Han’s?”  
  
“Oh, well he and Minseok are on a date. I figured it’d just be easier not to be over there if they came home and wanted to… whatever,” Yixing trailed with a shrug. Kris stared at him again and Yixing had to swallow under the gaze before he stood up and headed towards the television, kneeling down to riffle through a drawer of DVDs. “How about a movie then,” Yixing suggested in an effort to break the silence.  
  
Yixing heard Kris sigh quietly behind him before footsteps ended beside him, “What’d you have in mind?”  
  
Yixing gave little of an acknowledging hum as he continued to sift through the plastic boxes until he stopped at a blue-ish cover with several characters standing on a street, “What’s this one about? ‘Inception’?”  
  
Silence hung in the air for a moment before Yixing turned to look up to see Kris with a perplexed look on his face. “Kris?”  
  
The tall blond swallowed hard before a smile made its way back onto his face, “It’s a pretty good movie. We can watch that if you want?”  
  
Yixing passed the case to Kris as he stood up again, pausing when he took notice of the stuffed dragon propped on the mantle above the artificial fireplace. His head tilted to the side momentarily as he studied the red scarf around its neck.  
  
“Hey, you okay?” Kris asked, stepping up to Yixing with a concerned raised eyebrow on his face.  
  
Yixing shook his head and started back to the couch again with a furrowed brow; why did he feel like there should be something on the mantle next to the dragon? “Yeah, I’m fine. Let’s get this movie started.”  
  
Kris took a seat on the opposite side of the couch and pointed the remote across the room as the eyebrows on his face raised into his forehead in contemplation.  
  
“Yeah, sure.”  
  
…

_Yixing gave a parting wave at the giggling fan who hugged the newly autographed album to her chest as a security guard politely escorted her off the stage._

_“We’ll just be taking a short break as we reorganize,” one of the employees at the mall smiled, bowing deeply to the cheering crowd as he replaced the microphone onto its stand._

_Yixing smiled at the many girls waiting in a line at the edge of the stage, making a small heart with his hands as people scrambled around him._

_“Can you_ please _tell your boyfriend that I’m not his messenger to you?” Lu Han grumbled as he slammed a sealed plastic bubble tea cup on the table in front of Yixing, jabbing the packaged straw at the artist with a scowl._

_Yixing jumped in his seat as he refocused his attention from his fans to his frazzled manager and then to the delivered drink. He took the straw eagerly from Lu Han and stabbed the straw through the plastic, “Did he leave already?” he asked with a pout._

_Lu Han scowled as he glared at Yixing, grabbing several gift bags on the table and taking them behind the giant event sign standing behind Yixing. “Why else would_ I _be the one delivering your stupid milk tea?” Lu Han muttered when he returned to retrieve more gifts, “Does it look like I have nothing better to do than run to your favourite tea shop across town?”_

_Yixing laughed as he helped to pass one of the items to Lu Han with the hand that didn’t hold the drink, “I suppose not. What message did he want you to convey to me?”_

_Lu Han pulled the small box from Yixing’s hand, though making sure to look proper in front of the crowd of screaming fans. “He just wanted me to remind you not to be late for dinner tonight. He has news.”_

_Yixing snorted derisively, nearly choking on a tapioca bead in the process, “He really does think I’m that forgetful, doesn’t he?”_

_Lu Han only shook his head as he pointed at one of the employees to bring up the next person in line, “Can’t really blame him, can you?”_

_*_

_“What?” Yixing laughed when he noticed his boyfriend staring at him from across their dinner table, meal untouched._

_The older grinned, “I have good news,” he answered simply._

_“Oh?” Yixing prompted, taking another bite of rice. “This is good, by the way. Are you sure you made it?” he mocked with a joking smile, admiring Kris’ newly dyed hair. “You the one going blond now?” he added with an approving wiggle of his eyebrows. His boyfriend ignored the jab at his cooking but grinned as he ran a hand through his new hairdo as he leaned over to grab a file from his bag, sliding it across the table at Yixing who raised an eyebrow questioningly. “What’s this?” he asked, flipping past the first page warily, “Why are you showing me some guy’s contract to become my new personal trainer?”_

_“Look at the name.”_

_“Kris Wu,” Yixing read, “Who the hell is Kris Wu and why do I care about this?”Yixing muttered as he threw down the pages, rolling his eyes at yet another change in his staff lineup._

_“I’ve said before that I wanted to change my name to start new over, didn’t I?”_

_Yixing’s hand stopped halfway to his mouth, fork hanging from it limply, “You’re kidding me, right?” he asked flatly. “You couldn’t come up with anything better than that?” He earned a kick under the table for his snide remark. “Ow! Though I guess it’s infinitely better than, what was it you wanted at first? Ace? OW! Would you_ please _stop kicking me?!” Yixing frowned, leaning over to dramatically massage his shin. “But seriously, just like that? You’re Kris now? You didn’t even tell me._ And _you’re now my personal trainer too? Do you just never tell me anything?”_

_Kevin-now-Kris rolled his eyes at the dramatic show, “ ‘Oh, congratulations, Kris. That’s such good news, Kris!’ Yeah, thanks Yixing. ‘Preciate the support.” He raised his glass to himself, taking a sip of his wine._

_Yixing grinned and stood up from his seat, chair legs scratching against the floor as he stepped around the table. “Well_ congratulations _then,_ Kris. _Now what can we do to celebrate?”_

_Kris snorted dismissively._

_“Aw come on, don’t be such a grouch. Let’s go watch a movie or something. That new one, ‘Inception’ I think it was called. Got tons of great reviews.”_

_Kris let out a scowl but let Yixing pull him to his feet anyway._

_*_

_Yixing tapped his foot impatiently as he drew his hood closer, silently urging the high school part time worker behind the counter to hurry with his popcorn and drinks. He pushed his lensless glasses up on his nose as he chewed on a thumbnail, eyes scanning his surroundings to make sure no one had yet recognized him._

_A grin spread across his features when he noticed the claw machine in the arcade._

_*_

_Kris tossed his wallet and phone on the counter as the pair stepped into their apartment. “Good movie,” he mumbled through a yawn._

_“Hey, I got you something,” Yixing announced, hands behind his back as he hovered over the couch Kris collapsed into. “You know, for the whole name-change-slas_ _h-new-job-thing?"_

  
_Kris opened his eyes and narrowed them at Yixing, “Where on earth did you find time to get me something?”_

_“Yeah, well don’t expect much. I got it at the movie theatre,” Yixing explained as he pulled the stuffed dragon plush from behind him and held it out to Kris before taking a seat next to the bewildered giant._

_“So… first you insult my name and then you make me feel like a child by giving me a toy?”_

_Yixing scowled and whacked the back of his hand against Kris’ shoulder, “Grateful, much?” he mumbled before stealing the present back._

_Kris laughed lightly before grabbing the dragon back, fixing the scarf around its neck before standing up and walking towards the fireplace. “I’ll just leave him up here then,” he suggested as he placed it on the mantle._

_Yixing stood up to join Kris as the latter stepped back and tilted his head to observe his decision. “Wait, it’s missing something,”Yixing mumbled before slipping out of the living room and to the bedroom. He returned half a minute later and stepped up to the ledge and placed his own stuffed rabbit in the empty space next to Kris’ most recent present. “There. Much better,” he announced, stepping back again and threading his arm through Kris’. “And look, they’re both wearing scarves! You know, if you can call that thing you tried to knit a scarf.”_

_The older scowled down at Yixing and then raised a skeptical eyebrow, “Don’t you need that to sleep?”_

_Yixing only looked up to smile at his boyfriend as he intertwined his fingers with his boyfriend’s, “Well I have you now, don’t I?”_

_Red crept into Kris’ face and he turned away embarrassed. “Save it for your fangirls, would you?”_

_…_  
  
Yixing woke with a start and nearly rolled off the couch in alarm.  
  
“Oh, sorry, did I wake you?”  
  
Yixing sat up perfectly straight when he realised he’d somehow managed to fall asleep halfway through the movie, head leaning against Kris’ shoulder.  
  
 _I fell asleep? But I’ve always had trouble sleeping in anything but my own bed!_  
  
His eyes flit between Kris and then the television screen before settling on the dragon plush on the fireplace mantle again, narrowing his eyes as the last of his dream slipped from him.  
  
“Yixing?” Kris piped up again, “You okay?”  
  
Yixing cleared his throat as he sent a last glance at the seated stuffed toy before turning to Kris again, “Y-yeah, just waking up still. Sorry I fell asleep halfway through though.”  
  
Kris shrugged as he grabbed the remote to pause the last few minutes of the movie, rolling the shoulder Yixing had been leaning on in a stretch. “Should I call Lu Han to see if they’re done so they can come pick Ai Qin up?”  
  
Yixing studied Kris as he tried to decide whether it was simple a dream or a memory from his lost four years he was starting to regain. “Kris, did we ever…?” Yixing started, only to be interrupted by his ringing phone. He closed his eyes and breathed in slowly before pulling his phone out to check the incoming message.  
  
 _Minseok and I are home now. Where did you go with Ai Qin?_  
  
“Oh, it’s Lu Han. I should probably get Ai Qin and get out of your hair,” he muttered, deciding he could ask his question later when he sorted out what exactly it was he wanted to ask. “Thanks for having us over tonight, Kris,” he smiled before quickly standing up and slipping into the guest room where Ai Qin was sleeping before the older could slip a word in sideways.  
  
…

Kris paced in front of Lu Han’s office the next morning waiting for the manager to get into work.

“What’s got _you_ all freaked out?” Lu Han asked as he searched his keys for the right one to unlock his door.

“I can’t do this anymore Lu Han,” Kris bit through his teeth as he stepped into the office behind its owner. “I can’t keep acting like Yixing and I were just professional colleagues before he lost his memory, okay? He came over last night and I was _this_ close to just telling him the truth, okay? _I can’t do this anymore._ ”

Lu Han sighed as he dropped his jacket over the back of his chair, “Just hold off it, can’t you? I mean it’s not like he might _never_ remember you, right? The doctor said his mind could still heal itself over time or whatever. He’ll remember you.”

Kris scowled as he dropped into the seat opposite Lu Han, “It’s because you like Tao better, isn’t it?”

Lu Han rolled his eyes as he rummaged through his desk drawer, “I couldn’t care less about Tao, Kris. You know that. I just want what’s best for Yixing.”

Kris frowned harder. “I can’t stand him, Lu Han. He’s fucking everything up. _He nearly killed my fiancé right before our wedding_ , Lu Han. I don’t think you can fully appreciate how difficult it is to not want to kill him every time I see him with Yixing, acting all couple-like.

Lu Han hardly looked up in his search, “If it helps, those two have been hanging around together less lately.”

Kris jumped to his feet again and started towards the door, “When is ‘less’ going to be ‘not at all’?”

  
…  
  
“Not eating again?” Minseok asked as he took a seat next to Yixing on the practice room floor, taking care not to spill the contents of his paper plate.  
  
Yixing shook his head as he eyed his choreographer’s plate a little enviously, averting his eyes with effort. “No, I’m okay,” he muttered as he turned his attention to untying and then retying his shoelaces.  
  
“Dieting again?” Minseok asked with an exasperated sigh, crossing his legs under him as he took a bite out of his slice of pizza, eyes settling somewhere in the middle of the practice room floor where Yixing’s back-up dancers sat around several half-empty boxes. “I know you’re eager to get back out there, but it’s only been a couple of months since you left the hospital. Don’t push yourself too hard.”  
  
Yixing shrugged as he tucked his ankles under him. “I need to get my name back out there before everyone forgets who Lay is,” he mumbled with determination as he joined Minseok in staring unseeing into the circle of dancers.  
  
Minseok sighed again, “I can’t believe Lu Han lets you do this,” he grumbled with a shake of his head, reaching for the bottle of water sitting beside him. “Shouldn’t you be taking it easy? You know, spend some time with Tao or whatever.”  
  
Yixing raised as eyebrow as he turned to face Minseok, wondering if he’d imagined the bitter tone in the older’s voice. “Do you… not like Zitao?” Yixing asked quietly, looking for a reaction.  
  
Minseok sighed for what Yixing could swear was the fiftieth time in the last five minutes. The choreographer wiped his fingers clean with a napkin before setting it on the soiled paper plate beside him. “Let’s just say he’s not my favourite person,” he muttered.  
  
Yixing chewed on his lower lip in contemplation. “Can I ask you something?” he asked quietly, “Because I feel like you’re the only person around me who’s not actively trying to hide things from me.”  
  
Minseok crossed his arms, “What are you talking about?”  
  
Yixing shrugged, “Well for starters, Lu Han seems adamant on keeping my focus on getting back on stage in front of an audience again, especially when I ask him personal things about me in the last four years.”  
  
“Okay…” Minseok answered uneasily, “So what did you want to ask then? Is it about Lu Han?”  
  
“It’s about Zitao,” Yixing hesitated before he continued, “And Kris.”  
  
It was Minseok’s turn to raise an eyebrow in interest, “ _Both_ Tao and Kris?”  
  
The amnesiac superstar swallowed easily, “Kind of but not really. I wanted to ask you…” Yixing paused hesitantly, only continuing when prompted with a slight nudge from Minseok, “Were Zitao and I really together? You know, before my accident? As more than just for the cameras?” An uncomfortable feeling settled in his chest when he noticed the hesitation in Minseok’s features and he pushed on with a swallow, “I mean, I just… I can’t see it, it doesn’t feel right. And he avoids the question whenever I ask anything about how we were before the accident. And I get these dreams sometimes but they just feel too _real_ to be just dreams, but what else am I supposed to think?” he rambled as he looked up at Minseok with a troubled expression.  
  
“What dreams?” Minseok asked, sitting up straight, attention wholly on the other.  
  
Yixing shrugged as he caught his breath from his ramble, “Doesn’t matter,” he muttered, playing with his shoelaces again.  
  
“What. Dreams.” Minseok asserted again, staring intensely as the younger clenched the muscles in his jaw nervously.  
  
“I- Well,” Yixing started uneasily before taking a deep breath and explaining what he could remember from his last sleep,  starting to regret starting the conversation in the first place as he heard the crazy words coming from his mouth; he was starting to sound like he had a crush on the personal trainer he hardly spoke to. He was almost thankful when the timer on Minseok’s phone went off, signalling the end of their lunch break. He let out a long breath as he closed his eyes tightly, avoiding eye contact with the male beside him.  
  
“I’m pretty sure you already know, don’t you?” Minseok finally spoke up, drawing Yixing out of his own thoughts, “Or you wouldn’t be thinking about it so much or asking those questions.” He stood up, brushing the crumbs off his sweat pants before offering a hand to Yixing. “Those aren’t dreams, Yixing,” he continued with a small smile, as he pulled the other to his feet as well. “Your memories are coming back to you.”  
  
Yixing swallowed hard as he stared after Minseok tossing his garbage and taking to the front of the room once more. He hardly heard the commands the choreography called out, limbs moving by memory instead. The physical distraction hardly did much for the hunger pangs and the fatigue that weighed his eyelids down. He tried desperately to ignore what Minseok had said, but the details of his so-called dreams were too hard to ignore.  
  
The confused brunette ground his teeth together as he tried to concentrate on his mirrored reflection, focusing on sharpening his moves and on ignoring the sting at the base of his spine until he lost the strength in his legs and the floor tumbled up at him as black crept into his vision.  
  
…

_Kevin Li swore under his breath as he rounded a corner sharply and dove through the first door he saw, letting himself breathe again when he found himself in an empty stairwell. He hardly had a moment to wonder if any of the other participants from tonight would notice his disappearance from the change room before the door opened and his heart nearly jumped into his throat. He ignored the ping that came from the phone in his pocket and took off up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time._

_“Oh thank god.”_

_Kevin stopped in his tracks on the landing in between floors, cocking his head to the side as he tried to place the familiar voice that echoed off the concrete walls as soon as the door had clicked closed. Curiosity getting the better side of him, Kevin turned around on the spot and crept soundlessly back where he had come from, stopping at the edge of the landing and peered around the second flight of stairs, fingers crossed that it wasn’t a reporter that had finally managed to catch up to him._

_“Oh, it’s just you,” he breathed out to himself when he recognized the new addition to the stairwell as a non-threat, forgetting that the cement amplified his voice more than he would like._

_The blond superstar spun his head around quickly and Kevin froze, suddenly very aware of how suspicious he must look, crouching and spying on the musician like a stalker._

_“Don’t you people ever give up?!” the blond muttered under his breath in Mandarin, making the same mistake that Kris had just moments ago. Looking alarmed, the costumed performer wiped the grimace off his face and replaced it with a look of pleading that had Kevin wondering just how sincere it was. “Hi!” he greeted in heavily accented English with a sickening cheerful voice that made Kevin scowl, “Uhm, if I give you an autograph, can you promise not to tell the others where I am? It can be a secret between just you and me okay?” The blond held a finger to his lips, winking playfully as he continued to smile, eyebrows angling for sympathy._

_Kevin didn’t bother to cover up the derisive snort, “I’m sorry, what?” he answered in English as well, wondering if should change languages to help out the foreigner, “I really don’t care for your autograph? I’m just glad you’re not some annoying reporter.” He swallowed irritably at the memory of the thousands of questions he’d already been chased down with, half of which included what his thoughts were on his performance tonight and what he felt about having a rookie beat him at the dunking event that he had always dominated in the last four years. “Lay, right?”_

_The blond glared at Kevin for a minute before sighing and walking towards the taller and taking a couple steps up the stairs before sitting on one of them, “Yeah, sure I guess,” he shrugged, “You don’t mind if I sit here, right?”_

_Kevin rolled his eyes and was about to comment on how redundant the question was now that the artist had already seated himself but thought better of it considering the other’s performance tonight. “Uhm, good show tonight,” he offered instead._

_A snort sounded from the artist’s step that alarmed Kevin, “Right, I’m sure everyone enjoyed watching me fall on my face today.” Lay continued to play with the button on his jacket and Kevin wondered momentarily how comfortable the plastic looking thing could actually be._

_The basketball player sighed and deciding that this current mopey company was infinitely better than the annoying reporters who just wanted to sell a good story, he descended the stairs and took a seat on a step lower than where Lay sat, legs sprawling out across the landing. “Don’t worry about it too much. It was still a great performance if you ask me.”_

_Lay furrowed his eyebrows in irritation as he turned to face Kevin, “If I ask you? You being…?” Lay seemed to pause a moment before continuing, “Ahhh, right, Kevin Li,” he recalled, putting on a more peaceable tone, “I liked your backwards dunky thing tonight,” he continued cheerfully._

_Kevin scowled at the memory, “How about you don’t mention that failure and I won’t mention your performance tonight?” he offered. A smile spread across Lay’s face that made Kevin forget that he was supposed to be finding a route back to the changeroom that avoided any contact with waiting reporters. “Uhm, what are you doing all the way out here?” Kevin asked instead._

_Lay scowled, “I thought you said that neither of us would speak about what happened tonight?”_

_Kevin mouthed an ‘oh’ understandingly, “They’re after you too?” he asked, recalled the irate look all over Lay’s face when he had first encountered Kevin in the stairwell._

_Lay hummed in reply and dropped his head to play with his jacket sleeve again, leaving Kevin to watch in awkward silence before he cleared his throat and stood up when he realised that he was focusing too hard on how Lay was chewing on his lip. “Hey, you wanna get outta here?”_

_Lay looked up at Kevin’s tall figure with scepticism written across his face, “What?”_

_Kevin shrugged, “Well, both of us are kinda on the run, so why don’t we get out of this place and find somewhere a little more peaceful?”_

_Lay continued to stare at Kevin condescendingly, “If I had found a way to do that, don’t you think I’d have already done it?”_

_“True, but have you tried the back exit?”_

_Suddenly intrigued, Lay got to his feet to join Kevin, “Back exit? What back exit?”_

_Kevin grinned, “The back exit I was going to take after I managed to get the change rooms unnoticed to get out this jersey.” Lay gave Kevin a confused look and Kevin tried the same sentence again but in Mandarin, shrugging when Lay looked startled. “I was born in China,” he explained simply, continuing in Mandarin, “Would it be easier for us to talk this way?”_

_A wide grin spread across Lay’s face, “Oh, it’s so good to find someone that speaks my language here!_

_Kevin returned the friendly expression, “So what do you say? Want to get out of here? I was going to grab a shower and a change of clothes before I escaped, but if you don’t mind me smelling bad, I’m pretty sure we can find a clear path to that back exit.”_

_Lay stepped forward, leaning towards Kevin before taking a sniff, making Kevin crinkle his forehead in alarm. “You smell okay to me,” he said simply before stepping back again, sending a small shiver up Kevin’s back._

_“Uhm…” Kevin fumbled, trying to control the heat he felt creeping up his neck, “So? Wanna come with me?” he deflected._

_Another dimpled grin graced Lay’s pink lips, “Only if you promise we’ll find something to eat and somewhere I can get all this makeup off my face.”_

_“Deal.”_

…

Kris swore quietly to himself as he caught the rebound off the backboard, dribbling the orange ball once before getting it into the basket the second time, ball catching in the netting momentarily before failing to the ground.

“Can I join you?”

Kris spun around quickly, ball still grasped tightly in his hands, to find a familiar face staring at him with crossed arms, a look of intrigue upon his features as he smiled up at the taller from twenty meters away in the company’s practice gym on the third floor.

The ex-professional basketball player tilted his head to the side as he dribbled the ball in his left hand, conflicted. “Sure,” he finally mumbled, bouncing the ball at Yixing.

The younger grinned as he caught the ball with one hand and used the other to toss his sweater to the side. “Don’t go easy on me, okay?”

Kris nodded once but he was hardly about to play seriously against someone who had always been prone to injury. He positioned himself defensively nevertheless, trying to ignore what the younger’s confident grin did to his heart rate.

“You sure you’re ready for this?” Yixing asked as he started to dribble the ball slowly at his side.

Kris drew pause, distracted by the playful glint in the younger’s twinkling, something he hadn’t seen ever since the latter had woken up from his coma. Yixing recognized the opening immediately and, grinning wider, he feigned going to his left, a play that Kris would have recognized instantly had he been fully focused. Half a second later, Kris turned around bewildered and watched Yixing sink the ball easily with a lay-up.

“Don’t look so surprised, Kris,” Yixing laughed, catching the ball and passing it back to the blond, “ _You_ were the one who showed me that, remember?”

“Why are _you_ so happy?” Kris asked before he registered the second part of what Yixing said, “Wait, what did you say?” he asked quietly as images of the two of them breaking into a gym on the first night they met flew through his head.

Yixing rolled his eyes with another laugh that threw Kris’ head into disarray, “And I’m supposed to be the one with amnesia?” Yixing continued jokingly, grabbing the ball from Kris’ limp fingers and standing a couple feet away, “The night we met? We snuck away from all the reporters and fans back at the arena and broke into a local community center? You showed off like a big shot and taught me some of your moves?” Yixing prompted in a bored voice as he spun the ball on his index finger, finally turning to his ashen-faced audience for his last comment, “You know, the night we met and exchanged phone numbers?”

The tall blond stood with weak knees as he returned the intent stare from the younger, the only sound in the whole place the bounce of the ball as it fell from Yixing’s finger from the lack of attention paid to it.

“Any of this ringing a bell for you yet?” Yixing joked in a serious tone, voice dropping to a mere whisper that still screamed at Kris through the silence around them.

Kris took a hesitant step forwards, still unsure of what he had just heard, “Xing?”

At the sound of his name, Yixing smiled wider and closed the gap between them, leaning forwards on his toes to place his lips lightly upon Kris’.

Kris’ eyes flew open at the contact, staring at Yixing when the latter pulled away, eyes soft as he waited for a response from the older who finally breathed out a soft laugh as he leaned his forehead against Yixing’s, eyes squeezed tightly closed.

“What took you so long?”


End file.
